Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Totally Awkward Tuesdays #5

This awkward story is actually more about a person than a particular incident. A crazy person. A crazy person who used to be my roommate a few years ago. We were roommates for about 3 extremely awkward months. Her name was April.

April and I met at work. I was in hair school at the time, and working full time for the HR dept of a credit union. My job was basically to go through all of the employment applications for the entire company, sort through them, enter stuff into the computer about each person... most boring and redundant job ever hehe. The only perk to my job was that my desk was in the front of the corporate building, I was also the receptionist, so I got to see everyone in the building on a daily basis and I made a lot of friends that way (much better than sitting in the actual HR dept in a cubicle). Anytime anyone came into that building, I had to check them in and announce them to which ever dept they were going to, and this included people coming in for interviews. April was one of the interviewees (is this a word?) and while she was waiting to go in for her interview, she and i got to talking. She was upbeat, outgoing, friendly, and seemed like a nice girl. We got to talking about how we were both at the time looking for a roommate. She got the job, and was working in the building, so we became fast friends. After only a couple weeks, we decided to move in together as roommates, and starting looking immediately. We found this amazing place, but there was a waiting list for the building. It was beautiful, in downtown Norfolk, there was a doorman and all the guests had to check in at the front desk, a pool and hot tub on the roof (over 20 stories high) and the apartments were actually really spacious and you could see the entire city from most floors. We put our names on the list... but didnt think we'd ever hear back in the amount of time we needed to find a place. Long story short, we got lucky and got a call about a week later, filled out the paperwork, and were moved in within a month.

April and I were spending a lot of time together before moving in, so we'd get to know each other. She was very close with her mom, she was an only child, was always so full of life, and quite honestly, was always the center of attention, but it didnt seem like a bad thing because she was just the life of the party. We had a blast together... there was no possible way that this wouldnt work lol.

I was wrong. We had two bathrooms, hers was in the hallway and mine was in my room. We'd both be up in the mornings getting ready to go to work, and about a week after we moved in... she stopped closing doors. I walked out of my room one morning and had to walk past her bathroom to get to the kitchen to make some coffee. The girl is stark naked and blowing her hair dry. I just keep walking... ignoring her nakedness and acting like it's not a big deal... i mean she was in her bathroom... so what. Well... she didnt like the fact that i didnt say good morning to her, so she walks out into the hallway after me, with both her arms held above her head with the blowdryer and brush, and yells "GOOD MORNING!!!!!" with a big smile on her face. I just smile and say good morning back and go on about my coffee business. She then joins me in the kitchen and starts making her lunch that she'll be taking with her (still no clothes). Ok... so the girl likes to be naked. Awkward... but I can handle it lol. This continued everyday.

About a month after we had been living together, she met a guy. She brought him home a couple times, and I thought he wasnt right for her at all, but never expressed this. He was a tall bald guy, very simple minded and just didnt ever really seem like he was all there, but she liked him a lot. April was loud and glamorous, and he seemed like a quiet farm boy or something, just to kinda give you a visual. Anyway, two weeks after they'd been dating, he got into a fight with his roommate after finding out that the roommate had been ripping him off with the power bill. You'd think that if your roommate were telling you that you owe $280 a month just for the power, you'd ask to see the statement, but he never had. So can you guess what happens next? He's moving in with us, on her day off, while I'm at work, and I 'guess' they never got around to asking me. I come home to boxes and boxes and boxes everywhere. I, ummm.. well... I asked her what was going on. April apparently wasn't prepared to answer my question. She mumbled the story about his roommate and about how he needed a place to stay. I said "ummm... ok... but don't you think you should have asked me before just moving him in?" BIG MISTAKE. She went off the hinges. I was standing in the doorway of my room, and she was in the doorway of hers which was next to mine. She started yelling like a crazy person and starts coming towards me, one step at a time. She corners me into my room and is screaming that I'm a bad friend and that I shouldnt have a problem with this and that I have no right to make him feel not welcome here and blah blah blah. I couldnt get a word in... but I'm pretty sure my jaw was on the floor. The whole time this was going on, farm boy was sitting in the den just listening.

For the next couple months, I'd frequently come home to them having sex in the den on my couches. During the day. And I'd get to witness her fighting with him too, him being really quiet and sheepish, while she ranted and screamed about this or that, and he'd just take it.

The girl is psycho. But somehow she got promoted or something, and he apparently did too, and they ended up buying a house together, and thankfully moved out, after only 2 months of dating. Funny thing is, I hear they're still together, and she is now wanting a baby (she wants to have 7 kids and he's not ready, but is too sheepish to tell her no.

Ok I know this was a long long story, but just to put some icing on the cake, a friend of mine who lived in the building took over April's part of the lease when she moved out, because her lease was ending right around the same time. She saw what I went through with April, and since I had known her for over a year, I thought she'd be ok to live with. Long long long story short, she actually started dating a guy that she met outside of a chinese food store, who turned out to be a drug dealer and started dealing out of my apartment. I'm totally not kidding. I ended up just sleeping on my mom's couch for a couple months until I could get someone else to move in and take over my part of the lease, I'm pretty sure that the apartment is just cursed or something.

check out Tova's page for more awkward stories!

No comments:

Post a Comment