Ok, so I must warn you, this story is not G rated. I wouldnt call it anything more than PG-13, because it did happen to me when I was at an innocent wee-age of 15, but I simply can't not post this because everytime I think about it or try to tell this story to someone... I can barely get through it because I'm laughing so hard. Oh... that poor boy.
Ok, when I was 15, I was dating this boy Mike. Actually, at the time, he was my mom's boyfriend's son (totally awkward all in itself I know... but just you wait! oh, and just for clarification, my mom is no longer with him). Ok so. Mike was older than me by a couple years, so of course he was driving (I wasnt allowed to drive til I was 17, mommy's orders) and wanting to take me out. We had been dating for probably a couple months when he wanted to take me out to a movie. My mom said it was fine, but to be home right after the movie was over, so I was expected home by 11. My mom lives at the end of a cul-de-sac (weirdest word ever by the way) so when we drove up to my house, he parked the car to the side of mom's house where she couldnt see us if she were actually looking outside, in the circle up on the curve, with no streetlights anywhere near us, and lots of trees around. For sure I guessed he was hoping for a little make out time, kissing me was all I'd ever let him do, so why would he expect anything else? So... blah blah blah... we're doin a little kissing, and then I realize it's about 5 minutes past 11. I tell him I need to go inside, but of course he just can't bare to let me go. Kissing... kissing... RING RING! my mom's calling my cellphone to ask where i am, it's now 10 minutes after. I tell her we'll be home in 3 minutes, about to turn into the neighborhood... etc. Kissing, kissing (he's keeping his hands off btw... I woulda snapped haha) and suddenly he faces away from my face because he needs to cough. Just once. Just one cough... and I know he wasnt sick. During that one cough, yes... just the one cough, I swear to goodness I heard a zipper zip super quick. Was the cough a coverup for this noise? Oh lord I hope not. I then tell him I have to go inside or else my mom will kill me, and he asks for one last kiss. I lean over for one quick kiss, and while still facing him, I reach behind me to open the door, which turns the overhead light on. As I'm turning halfway around, preparing to get out, I see it. His wee-wee. Just layin there, sticking out of his pants, limp. And it looks totally weird... like... what the heck is that???? OH MY... he's not circumsized!!!!!! But I'm 15! Just a kid! Who definitely didn't know what the heck that was or meant or anything!!! To me, it just looked weird as hell... like a deformity or something. In an effort to not see it anymore, in a total moment of absolute panic, I slammed the door shut to turn the light off (while still inside) as I scream 'AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!' Keep in mind... this all happened in about 2.5 seconds, the seeing it, then slamming the door and screaming.
He immediately zips up and I just sit there not able to breathe and looking straight out the window in front of me. I wanted to just jet outta the car so fast but I was just scared to move lol. Poor guy... he was totally embarrassed... probably not the reaction he was going for, eh??? I don't even remember what i said... but i found the words, got out, and ran into the house. Never saw that boy again (luckily mom broke things off with his dad shortly after, thank goodness!). hahahahaha
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